Just let Chiqui in, and I know there is no way in hell I can sleep right now. Been a very eventful day that's for sure. Landed safely last night. I was able to sleep on the plane the whole time jamming out to my old favorites, Porcupine Tree and Dream Theater. Ok you caught me...I was bad and broke my vow at a little tavern at Midway and drank two Killian's waiting to board. One was actually out of necessity (I was soooo thirsty) and the second was to toast my next adventure.
But, back to today...
My whole reason for coming back to the "redneck capital of the world" was to see Nick wrestle. My disappointment was tangible when we received a phone call early this morning from Nick telling us he did not make weight. He was over by one pound. ONE pound! I kept my cool, but I was devastated. For those of you with children, I'm sure you are empathetic. But, you have to remember, Nick is it for his Mom and I. No more school sports for us to rally for. No more to feel that pride and supportive weightlessness that only accompanies watching your child score a touchdown, throw strike three or catch a high fly in right field. Okay, of course, as time goes on we as parents find other avenues to support our children in...but for some reason I can't help feeling badly about today. Hmmmm. On a good note though, the afternoon gave Nick and I some "quality" time to discuss HIM. I am very happy that he opened up to me about school, and his future. He is a great kid and I love him very much.
And...we also saw Cloverfield.
If you are a sci-fi fan, enjoy being scared and can handle the "Tilt-a-Whirl" at your local carnival or County Fair...this movie is for you. I liked it - ALAWT, however - I can see how it will be loved and panned by the bastard critics. I say F'm, what do they really know anyway? Hmmm...well, they did get Juno and Little Miss Sunshine right. Bastards.
Let's see, what else...
Tomorrow is dinner with Beth and some friends. I will hang at Beth's until Monday. I am not seeing anyone else on this trip home, and honestly am not sure when I will be home again. Speaking of which... What the hell is home for me now anyway? In KC, I always made reference to Rochester as "home", but now in Chicago, I refer to KC as "home." It's all very confusing, and I am very glad that I watched Joe Dirt today to gain insight in regards to this very dilemma. There is a scene when Joe is speaking to a very inarticulate (sp) gentleman from Baton Rouge. The man offers Joe a statement in reaction to Joe's feeling of displacement. He says to Joe, "Home is where the heart is." Joe of course, walks the 1500 miles back to the west coast and begins life anew... Good for Joe. Blah blah. But, obviously in order to find a place where your heart truly "is" can sometimes be a quest. I believe it has been a lifelong one for me. But, I am seeing that my search may be coming to a close once and for all. Mostly because I have chosen to be happy wherever I land.
On that note, just recently I was reading about relationships. There was a paragraph that discussed people that are or were never satisfied with anything about their lives. It was very interesting, and contemporary to me - because the article also discussed addictive behaviors of certain people that can never really commit to anything because they may have a belief that there is always "something better" just around the corner. Their MO is to forever hold a "get out of jail free" card in their posession (just in case). I know about people like this, because I am one. The other issue that was discussed was that these specific type of people also resort to emotional slavery. Because they never let the people in their past relationships just move on. To detach completely would mean that there would be no backup plan. I also know about this as well. The biggest detriment regarding this type of behavior is; that a relationship cannot thrive if one or both of the participants feels they are only in it for the short haul. Anyway, for those of you that truly know me...this is a big deal for me to realize and act on this critical flaw.
Ok, I'm heading up to the air mattress. Oh, I start school on the 28th and will have my Associates Degree next September. I will have my BA in Business and Marketing in Fall 2011. I am excited and ready. Ok, go to bed...stop reading this blog - you have to get up and give your kids a hug and a nice breakfast. Tell Brett he represents every blue collar family in America - SO KICK THE SHIT out of NY!
Night.
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