The Girls...

Oh no! Amber has TR!!!

Redundancy is the best policy.

Just let Chiqui in, and I know there is no way in hell I can sleep right now. Been a very eventful day that's for sure. Landed safely last night. I was able to sleep on the plane the whole time jamming out to my old favorites, Porcupine Tree and Dream Theater. Ok you caught me...I was bad and broke my vow at a little tavern at Midway and drank two Killian's waiting to board. One was actually out of necessity (I was soooo thirsty) and the second was to toast my next adventure.

But, back to today...

My whole reason for coming back to the "redneck capital of the world" was to see Nick wrestle. My disappointment was tangible when we received a phone call early this morning from Nick telling us he did not make weight. He was over by one pound. ONE pound! I kept my cool, but I was devastated. For those of you with children, I'm sure you are empathetic. But, you have to remember, Nick is it for his Mom and I. No more school sports for us to rally for. No more to feel that pride and supportive weightlessness that only accompanies watching your child score a touchdown, throw strike three or catch a high fly in right field. Okay, of course, as time goes on we as parents find other avenues to support our children in...but for some reason I can't help feeling badly about today. Hmmmm. On a good note though, the afternoon gave Nick and I some "quality" time to discuss HIM. I am very happy that he opened up to me about school, and his future. He is a great kid and I love him very much.

And...we also saw Cloverfield.

If you are a sci-fi fan, enjoy being scared and can handle the "Tilt-a-Whirl" at your local carnival or County Fair...this movie is for you. I liked it - ALAWT, however - I can see how it will be loved and panned by the bastard critics. I say F'm, what do they really know anyway? Hmmm...well, they did get Juno and Little Miss Sunshine right. Bastards.

Let's see, what else...

Tomorrow is dinner with Beth and some friends. I will hang at Beth's until Monday. I am not seeing anyone else on this trip home, and honestly am not sure when I will be home again. Speaking of which... What the hell is home for me now anyway? In KC, I always made reference to Rochester as "home", but now in Chicago, I refer to KC as "home." It's all very confusing, and I am very glad that I watched Joe Dirt today to gain insight in regards to this very dilemma. There is a scene when Joe is speaking to a very inarticulate (sp) gentleman from Baton Rouge. The man offers Joe a statement in reaction to Joe's feeling of displacement. He says to Joe, "Home is where the heart is." Joe of course, walks the 1500 miles back to the west coast and begins life anew... Good for Joe. Blah blah. But, obviously in order to find a place where your heart truly "is" can sometimes be a quest. I believe it has been a lifelong one for me. But, I am seeing that my search may be coming to a close once and for all. Mostly because I have chosen to be happy wherever I land.

On that note, just recently I was reading about relationships. There was a paragraph that discussed people that are or were never satisfied with anything about their lives. It was very interesting, and contemporary to me - because the article also discussed addictive behaviors of certain people that can never really commit to anything because they may have a belief that there is always "something better" just around the corner. Their MO is to forever hold a "get out of jail free" card in their posession (just in case). I know about people like this, because I am one. The other issue that was discussed was that these specific type of people also resort to emotional slavery. Because they never let the people in their past relationships just move on. To detach completely would mean that there would be no backup plan. I also know about this as well. The biggest detriment regarding this type of behavior is; that a relationship cannot thrive if one or both of the participants feels they are only in it for the short haul. Anyway, for those of you that truly know me...this is a big deal for me to realize and act on this critical flaw.

Ok, I'm heading up to the air mattress. Oh, I start school on the 28th and will have my Associates Degree next September. I will have my BA in Business and Marketing in Fall 2011. I am excited and ready. Ok, go to bed...stop reading this blog - you have to get up and give your kids a hug and a nice breakfast. Tell Brett he represents every blue collar family in America - SO KICK THE SHIT out of NY!

Night.

Daughtry couldn't have said it better...

Heading home for the weekend AND have a busy, busy (Did I say busy?) schedule. You may never know where I'll turn up though...so be aware (NOT "beware")!

Speaking of Daughtry, I have noticed that Chris has unfortunately aqcuired the terrible Tongueoutofmouthis Ridicularum. The below images (NOT FOR THE SQUEAMISH!) show evidence of the disease and others who share in Chris' plight. God bless you Chris Daughtry and good luck with the treatments.

Crumpled $20 for your thoughts...

Have you ever read something and found yourself shaking your head in a positive way saying things like: "That is so true?" and/or "Wow, I wish I had said that..." I read something like that today.

I believe that way down deep there is at least one thing in life that we would take back if we could. I have about fifty of them (maybe 60). I don't dwell on them like I used to. I leave that for others. I have sinned and made horrible mistakes, but I have tried to move forward and learned very difficult lessons in the meantime. Lessons that haunt me, challenge me and motivate me every single day to be a better person. I will continue to do all of the above I am sure (I will make mistakes)...but I have survived. And, believe it or not - so has everyone else around me. Sometimes "meant to be" means exactly that.

Oh yeah sure, I used to wish for time to come back (knowing what I know now) and let me make the right choices. But what exactly were the "right choices?" Today I remember all of my mistakes with every choice I make going forward. I used to try to be perfect for those around me. Now I find perfection in just knowing what I need to improve upon every day. And the people who love me see me for who I am way down deep inside. Those people I cherish and thank for letting me "have it" ( ...to the MOON Scotty!) when I needed it, and also for shaking their head in a positive way when I do the right thing.

Anyway. Today is an awesome day. It's warm. I am alive and loved...and that is what I need to remember. I am also eating a kickass pizza while I write this...

I hope someday I can have one wish though. I pray for it all the time.

Tea and edamame make Scott a good boy...

Uh, let's see...

My truck broke down again, poo. And, as I write this I am smiling and happy because it was only a small fix this time. But, as far as economics - there is really no such thing as a small fix when it comes to an old girl like my '97 Ford F-150. I LOVE my old truck, but I also know that she is slowing down now and ain't what she used to be. I must be losing my mind, because every time she starts, I rub the dashboard and say thanks. I am also calling my truck "girl" which is another sign of imminent senility.

I am drinking some wonderful tea right now. I can thank Beth for that. She played the part of Mrs. Claus and gave me a tea infusion ball. It kicks ass. I also received some whole teas to fill the infuser with. I believe I am drinking a Chinese OOOlong tea. I find that I am drinking at least three cups of tea a day. Two cups at work and one before bed every night. Settles the soul and is a great distraction to coffee (which I only drink on the weekends now). Beth and I continue to remain GREAT friends. She is a wonder and I am so blessed that she listened to my story and has elected to stick around when others walked away. My resolutions keep me on my toes. And '07 taught me who I do and do not want to be. I will stumble I am sure, but I will recognize my trips and falls and get back up to live a better life the next day.

Heard some disturbing news about an old friend today. Initially, I felt how overly testosterone laden men always feel. Shining up the old fist, gritting teeth...you get my meaning. But, I have to believe that some people will always be burdened with addiction, mental instability and depression. You can't solve anything by feeling contempt for those people. I am in Chicago now. I have done all I believe I was capable of. The burden is on him now. I am sorry but, good luck and good riddance. Someone did that to me once and it has been what I needed to change my life for the better. Maybe it will be enough for him as well.

Ok, enough downward spiraling...

As usual I love lists, so hear goes another one.

Things that I am absolutely digging right now:

• This OOOOlong tea yo!


• My wonderful friendship with Beth


• Naperville's Riverwalk


• The little City of Naperville


• My job


• My new Dell Inspiron laptop


• Nick, Amber and Danielle


• BBC television


• My new band and bandmates (Tom and his family had me as a guest New Year's Eve - they are wonderful people)


• My waistline (high five!)


• Chavrie goat cheese and jalapeno jelly on crackers


• Hugo's Frog Bar


• That Illinois passed a smoking ban in all restaurants and bars (YAY!)


• Jeff Loomis and Chris Broderick (check this out: OMG! )

...more later.

So, my AFC team (The Pats) and my NFC team (Seattle Seahawks) are both in the playoffs yo! Pats are going all the way, that is a no brainer. But, the Hawks have to get through Brett Faaaaavre and the Packers next week. Gonna be a tough one for sure. Especially because it'll be in Lambeau. I could get there in 4 hours if I felt like paying the nosebleed price of around $500 for a cold seat. Ahhhh, I don't think so. Wisconsin is so close I can almost smell the cheese from here. Was in the big W over the Summer (seems like a lifetime ago) and it truly is beautiful. Too many drunks though. Well to be fair, there are drunks everywhere.

Except for the person on the other end of this post. I gave it up (except for a glass of red wine every day for my diet). Ok, sometimes a drink two...how did you know?